Relationships
Most people seek relationships to get away from themselves. But not eager learners. We use everything for our upliftment, learning and growth–including relationships. One of the most important things we can learn from a relationship is what the relationship can teach us about ourselves.
Relationships can be among the most amazing mirrors around. Some relationships are like fun-house mirrors: they reflect something back to you, but it’s liable to be distorted. Other relationships are like magnifying or reducing mirrors: they make everything they reflect seem larger or smaller than they truly are.
Some relationships are accurate mirrors of the darkness inside us, others accurately reflect the light. Occasionally, we find one that reflects both. That’s the relationship we either flee from, or "grapple to our hearts with hoops of steel."
We’re using the term relationship in the broadest possible sense. Relationships truly take place inside ourselves. We have relationship with anyone or anything we encounter. Have you ever read a book by an author who has long since shucked this mortal coil, and still felt a relationship? Or felt close to a movie character, knowing all the while the character never even existed?
What we do inside ourselves about the people (and things) we choose to be in relationship with can be one of the greatest learning tools in the entire reportoire–especially when combined with the mirror.
The next time you think about someone, "I hate you," ask yourself, "What is it this person is reminding me about myself that I hate?" And the next time you think about another, "I love you," ask yourself, "What is it about myself I love that I see in this person, too?"
Answering–and accepting the answers to–these questions lays the foundation for not just personal learning, but for enjoyable, productive relationships with others.
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